She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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