i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
