...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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