They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
