OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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