Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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