Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I heard we made out
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
