I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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