Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
