i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dick very happy bro
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
