I'm really into asian looking animals
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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