I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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