she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
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