You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
A bitchslap is in order.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
