I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You can't motorboat a personality
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize