I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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