and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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