boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
