he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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