Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
