Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
