I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize