two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
