2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
