And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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