"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
