you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
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I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
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So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well