If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
