Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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