he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
