We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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