I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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