I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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