I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
