I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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