am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
please come you make the beer taste better
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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