Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize