It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
