i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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