It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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