I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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