called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He? As in you personified your dick?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
