I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
