I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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