I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
