Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
