I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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