Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
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We got so high we made milksteak
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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