"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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