There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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