It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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