Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
