chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she smelled like a LAN party
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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