3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
