It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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