Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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