hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
