Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
