Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
